What Even Is Frankenmuth? (And Why Have I Basically Lived There)

Frankenmuth is Michigan’s own Bavarian cosplay town—a gingerbread-looking little escape where every building has the audacity to be adorable. Think lederhosen, river walks, endless fudge samples, and chicken dinners that could resurrect the dead.

My family has been Perks Club members at the Bavarian Inn for as long as I can remember—which basically means discounted chicken dinners, hotel perks, and a punch-card-style sense of loyalty that feels almost cultish. In a cozy, carb-friendly way.

The Bavarian Inn itself goes all the way back to 1888, when it was purchased and run by the Zehnder family—specifically Dorothy Zehnder, who turned it into the iconic Frankenmuth landmark it is today. When I worked at the DMV, I used to get a bizarre amount of joy renewing Dorothy’s vehicle tabs every year. It felt like being part of Frankenmuth history in the most bureaucratic way possible.

We’ve gone my whole life. Birthdays. Random weekends. December traditions. If there was a spare Saturday and a tank of gas, we were probably heading to Frankenmuth.

Childhood & Teen Years: Mirrors, Karaoke, and a $100 Crystal Bear

Some early trips blur together, but certain memories stay sharp:

• Going with my best friend from Kindergarten for a birthday trip. The Bavarian Inn Restaurant used to give you little birthday cakes, and that might as well have been Michelin-star magic to us.
• Grams always wanted breakfast at Oma’s. The food was better back then. (I stand by this.) We’d eat the breakfast bar.
• A couple trips with Jamie, including one where Ratskeller had karaoke. We learned the entire dance to “I Will Survive” and made the host sing while we performed. Yes, I have the videos. No, you’ll never see them.
• One time, it was just my mom, siblings, and me, and she goofed off in the Bavarian Inn hallway, fake-running with her arms at her sides, insisting security cameras would think she was walking politely. Peak mom comedy.
• We used to do the A-Maze-In-Mirrors (now called Ultimate Mirror Maze) because apparently everything needs a glow-up) all the time. One trip in particular lives rent-free in my brain: my dad was waiting at the “end” of the maze, arms out, calling, “Come on, Jessie!” And Jessie—sweet, trusting, tiny Jessie—took off at full speed…directly into a mirror. Dad was actually around the corner, but the mirrors were so clean her little eyes didn’t stand a chance. And me? Being the asshole big sister I absolutely was? I laughed my ass off. Zero remorse.
• I remember saving up for and bought a $100 crystal bear from a a shop is gone now (where Woody’s is today). The bear is still in storage—a treasure from my tiny-wallet era.

Bronner’s was always part of the trip, too—the world’s largest Christmas store and, spiritually, the North Pole with a gift shop.

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The Bavarian Inn: Practically My Second Home

We’ve always stayed at the Bavarian Inn. It has decades of history, themed rooms named after German families, and little plaques explaining who the room honors. I’ve stayed in so many of those rooms I could probably give tours.

I’ve watched that hotel evolve:

• The place where Build-A-Bear is now used to be the ticket redemption spot.
• They once had wax-hand molds (throwback).
  • My ex-husband and I had gotten a wax hand mold of our hands holding in his favorite color purple, white to split the colors up, and then my favorite color at the time, red. We kept it for years until it finally got too hot one summer and warped like a Dali painting.
• The arcade has expanded massively.
• A waterpark, Bavarian Blast, was added under the current President—haven’t been yet. Waiting for the hype (and the crowd of shrieking children) to die down.

Ex-Husband Years: Sad Cupcakes, Circus Tents, and 21st Birthday Shenanigans

When my ex-husband and I first started dating, we went to Frankenmuth for Valentine’s Day and stopped at Sugar High, the bakery that won Season 7 of the Food Network’s Cupcake Wars in 2012. They had a giant cupcake cut-out, and he poked his head through with a sad face. Thus began his pet name: Sad Cupcake.

Other ex-husband-era highlights:

• My 21st birthday at Tiffany’s Food & Spirits where we got obliterated. On the walk back to the hotel, the world spun and I collapsed for a minute. Romantic.
• The next year, we stayed at the hotel—Jell-O shots at Ratskeller’s, me singing “If We Were a Movie” by Hannah Montana, then a group performance of “Let It Go.”
• We used to love playing putt-putt at the Bavarian Inn. My golf ball collection includes R2D2, a ladybug, and a soccer ball.
• One rare time we strayed from the main haunts, we found a record store and ate at a brewery.
• Our last trip to Frankenmuth as a couple was to attend a circus, called Circus Kirkus, set up outside River Place—cute, quaint, very “small-town magic.”

River Place is this outdoor shopping village full of specialty stores, treats, and the kind of “I definitely don’t need this but…maybe I do?” shops that prey on my impulsive little heart. It’s home to the Ultimate Mirror Maze, Woody’s, Sugar High, and a rotating cast of places that somehow convince me I’ve been missing something essential my whole life.

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Dave Years: Dogs, Runes, Arcade Runs, and Baby’s First Swim

Dave and I spent his first visit to Michigan in Frankenmuth so it was only fitting that we spent our wedding night here, too…in the worst room I’ve ever stayed in at the Bavarian Inn. Thankfully, a dog show was in town, so the hotel was full of joyful doggos, which absolutely saved the vibe.

His mom loves Frankenmuth, too. When she comes from Kansas City, it’s one of her must-visit spots. We always repeat the circuit: Bavarian Inn Restaurant → Castle Place Shops → River Place → Bavarian Inn’s arcade.

We also did the Blacksmith Experience during our wedding trip, and Dave made me a rune. That was genuinely cool.

Frequent River Place stops for us:

• N’Orlin’s – the closest I’ve found to real New Orleans beignets in Michigan
• Pepper Palace – for my apple seasoning & rub
• Cherry Republic – for my mild cherry salsa
• Popcorn Wagon – for my popcorn seasoning + an apple cider slush
• The Stadium (board game shop) and Charlin’s Book Nook (book store) for Dave

The first time Evie swam was in my favorite hotel pool. Older kids were being obnoxious (one was obsessed with Dave), but she had the best time. She has been asking me to go swimming recently.

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Food Nostalgia & Pregnancy Cravings

Some standout bites over the years:

• Bavarian Inn Restaurant potato cheese puffs – perfection
• Ratskeller’s classic grilled cheese I loved as a teen (I forgot to mention Taylor came with me once or twice, too, and also loved their grilled cheeses)
• The legendary pineapple bacon grilled cheese they had for a limited time when I was pregnant with Evie—divine

Bronner’s, Budget Reality, and the Divorce Year

We’ve gone to Bronner’s more recently, too, but their prices are…robust. I dreamed of picking out a Christmas tree there this year—my favorite section—but life said, “divorce plot twist,” so it’s an Amazon tree holiday.

We took a quick trip out there earlier this week as a belated birthday celebration for my Mom. We got there later than planned—because of course we did—but met up with Jessie, Ryan, and Kira and let the night be what it was. Thirty-ish minutes in the Bavarian Inn arcade, just enough chaos to feel fun instead of feral. A quick Ratskellar snack (pizza bagels, always elite), and Gramma cashed in her 40,000 tickets for the grandbabies. I had her stash most of the prizes for Christmas—except for a Barbie we couldn’t resist for the new Dreamhouse.

Bronner’s was a tight, intentional thirty-minute sweep. I grabbed an Elf on the Shelf—she’s officially Elfie, even if that name is wildly unoriginal—and a dinosaur ugly Christmas sweater for her to wear because obviously. The girls each chose stuffed horses, clutching them like emotional support animals by the time we left. We rushed over to the Bavarian Inn Restaurant for our 7 p.m. reservation already running on fumes. It was louder than usual, everyone overstimulated, batteries flashing red. We tapped out early, no guilt. Some nights are about showing up, not pushing through.

Frankenmuth doesn’t need a grand plan. It’s just…there. A constant.