Category: The Matriarch’s Grimoire
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The Work That Doesn’t Clock Out There’s a specific kind of exhaustion that sleep doesn’t touch. It isn’t physical. It doesn’t come from movement you can point to. It comes from holding too many things in your head for too long, from constantly scanning ahead, from living one step in the future so nothing falls…
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What Self-Awareness Actually Is Self-awareness is usually framed as one of those traits that fixes everything. You understand yourself, you recognize your patterns, and suddenly you’re better equipped to make healthier choices. It’s tied to emotional intelligence, personal growth, and overall well-being, and the narrative around it is clean, reassuring, and easy to believe. Know…
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The Language Before Language Before we knew lyrics, before we understood meaning, before we could even form memories that stick—there was sound. Not music in the polished, Spotify sense. Not something you’d queue up or analyze. Something softer. Closer. More instinct than performance. A hum. My family didn’t just sing—we hummed. And that matters. Humming…
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There are places that hold your life without asking questions.Maple Hill Cemetery has always been one of mine. I didn’t go there this week for nostalgia. I went because I didn’t want to go home. A Place That Watched Me Grow Up This cemetery has seen more versions of me than most people have. The…
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Content warning: This post includes post-op images of my body after surgery. Nothing graphic, but it is real, healing skin. The Part No One Prepares You For Everyone talks about weight loss like it’s the finish line. The numbers drop, the compliments roll in, and you’re supposed to feel like you made it. But nobody…
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Some songs don’t explode.They echo. Some songs don’t tell you what happened—they let you feel what’s missing. Before we get into it, here’s how this post works. These lyrics are read without context—no backstory, no personal history, no explanation of who or what inspired them. Just the song as it exists on the page, the…
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The Gap No One Sees There is a very specific kind of frustration that comes from being fully aware of what needs to be done and still not being able to initiate it. The list exists. It is clear. It is reasonable. Dishes need to be done. Laundry needs to be folded. Messages need responses.…
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Some Roles Are Assigned Early Every family has its quiet systems. Not the ones anyone writes down or talks about openly, but the ones that develop slowly through experience. They form in response to tension, to uncertainty, to the simple need for survival. When my parents split up, my sisters and I developed one of…
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On Devotion, Identity, and the Radical Act of Still Being Yourself Motherhood has a strange way of flattening a woman into a single role. You become “Mom.” Not Nicki. Not the woman with opinions, hobbies, desires, stories, scars, playlists, sarcasm, and dreams. Just…Mom. The one who packs snacks, wipes tears, answers questions about dinosaurs at…
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The Question I Was Never Meant to Answer Honestly I used to dread that assignment. It sounded harmless. Inspirational, even. But it carried invisible boundaries. We were meant to choose figures already approved by history—polished, simplified, agreed upon. Heroes who fit neatly into margins. The women who held my attention did not fit neatly anywhere.…