âYou canât spell âfamiliesâ without âlies.ââ
đ The Art of the Exit Strategy
Every Christmas, I watch Four Christmases. Itâs one of those movies that gets funnierâand truerâthe more youâve lived it. The hopping from house to house, the polite smiles through exhaustion, the endless chorus of âyouâre not staying for dessert?â Iâve been doing that dance since childhood.
When I was little, I used to hate leaving my brand new toys behind to go to the next stop. Iâd barely unwrap one before being whisked off to another living room. Then adulthood hit, and somehow it got worseâbecause now I had my family and my ex-husbandâs to juggle. His mother, bless her Buddy-the-Elf-on-a-sugar-binge heart, insisted on both brunch and dinner on Christmas Day. đ It turned the holiday into a logistical nightmare that no amount of tinsel could disguise.
It got to be too much for a while. But as life does, it shifted. Some relatives passed on, the calendar softened, and now I only do two Christmasesâand theyâre not even on the same day. A seasonal miracle in itself.
đŻď¸ Dysfunction as a Love Language
Four Christmases is technically a comedy, but it hits like a mirror. Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn spend the film ping-ponging between four divorced parents, each stop exposing a different brand of family chaos. Thereâs guilt disguised as generosity, affection tangled with judgment, and that familiar sense of being both too much and never enough.
The humor works because itâs true. Families are emotional ecosystemsâwe know exactly which buttons to push because we installed them ourselves. The moment you step through a familiar doorway, adulthood evaporates and youâre thirteen again, explaining your choices to someone who still calls you âsweetheart.â
đŚ The Emotional Baggage Carousel
Holidays have a way of shaking loose whatever weâve been trying to keep neatly folded. Nostalgia, resentment, grief, loveâthey all end up sitting side by side at the table. Four Christmases gets it. Beneath the slapstick chaos is the quiet ache of wanting to feel seen without being stretched thin.
Itâs a reminder that connection doesnât always look graceful. Sometimes itâs loud, messy, and comes with secondhand embarrassment. But thereâs comfort in knowing even the most dysfunctional moments can hold affection if you look closely enough.
đ Home, Rewritten
By the end, Reese and Vinceâs characters learn what most of us eventually do: home isnât a calendar obligationâitâs wherever you can exhale. You can love your family and still need boundaries. You can honor tradition and still carve out your own.
For me, thatâs what Four Christmases has come to mean. Growth isnât surviving the seasonâitâs rewriting it. Two houses instead of four. Less chaos, more cocoa. Fewer performances, more peace.
And if I never have to do another Christmas brunch and dinner again, Iâll consider that the true meaning of the season.

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