The Plan That Went Up in Smoke

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, I did what so many expectant moms do—I planned. I bought the crib. I bought the bassinet. I fully intended to do things “by the book.”

But parenting rarely follows a manual—it follows a script the fates improvise while laughing backstage. 📚💫

---

Chest to Chest

When Evie was born, everything changed. She refused the bassinet. She wanted my heartbeat as her lullaby, not some plastic cradle.

For three days straight, I stayed awake so she could sleep on my chest. Dangerous? Yes. Sustainable? No.

At the same time, my stepdad—a firefighter and paramedic—had responded to three SIDS calls in one week. ⚠️ He wasn’t trying to scare me—he was scared for me. For her. He begged me to use the bassinet.

---

The First Cave-In

I compromised: crib side-down, flush against the bed. That worked… for about four months. Realistically, I spent half the night halfway in the crib myself.

Then Evie got sick—congested, miserable, needing elevation to breathe. I sat up with her night after night until my body broke. Finally, I caved. I let her sleep in our bed.

And you know what? It was easier. For her. For me. For all of us. (Well, except my husband, who wasn’t thrilled—but he wasn’t the one healing, feeding, and running on fumes. 🙃)

---

Round Two: Ellie

When Ellie was born, I didn’t hesitate. I co-slept during recovery downstairs, then transitioned her into a safe little nest in our upgraded king bed. Mama, dada, flip-flopping toddler, newborn in her cozy cocoon—we made it work. 🛌✨

We’re back down to a queen bed now, on the floor for safety, and I still co-sleep with both girls. It’s not the setup I imagined—but it’s ours. 💞

The Stigma vs. The Spell

Co-sleeping isn’t one-size-fits-all. In Western culture, it’s often treated like a curse word. But in many parts of the world, it’s normal—and safe when done intentionally.

Precautions matter:
🟣 Firm mattress, no pillows or blankets
🟣 No smoking, alcohol, or sedating meds
🟣 Baby on their back
🟣 Bed-sharing only with responsive, sober, breastfeeding mothers

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends room-sharing without bed-sharing. But nuance matters—because survival matters.

---

Final Truth

I didn’t plan on co-sleeping. I planned on doing everything “right.” But what I actually did was adapt to the baby in front of me.

And if you’re out there, exhausted, trying to survive the night—you’re not failing. You’re loving. You’re making it work.

Sometimes, making it work looks like a queen bed on the floor, filled with love, limbs, and a whole lot of cuddles. 🌙