I saw a quote on Facebook a while back that hit like a punch to the gut:

“I was your friend, but you weren’t mine.”

And ever since, it’s been living in my head rent-free. 🧠

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The Ones I Drove To

I think about the people that line applies to more than I probably should.
The ones I drove to. Checked in on.
The ones I brought gifts for, made plans with, showed up for—again and again. 🎁🚗

Before I had kids.
Before my life got hard to look at.
Before I stopped being easy to keep around.

I used to show up in ways that went beyond friendship—more like triage.
I fed people when their fridge was empty.
Replaced broken things—phones, glasses, teeth—and didn’t keep score.
I planned honeymoons, picked people up from airports,
let their dogs out when they were gone,
and made scrapbooks for the ones falling apart.

I drove hours just to sit on someone’s couch.
Sent newborn packages.
Never missed a birthday.
Never skipped a Christmas card.

I was the friend you could count on—
even when I couldn’t count on anyone back.

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The Quiet Betrayals

They didn’t betray me—not exactly.
They just… stopped showing up.
Some took sides when silence would’ve sufficed.
Some vanished the second things got real. 🫥

And still… I think about them.
Not because I want them back.
But because I meant it—every plan, every gesture, every damn drive across town.

I really thought we were in this together. 🤝
Turns out, I was riding solo.

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The Ache That Doesn’t Announce Itself

This isn’t a pity party.
It’s a moment of truth—for anyone else sitting with that same quiet ache.
The realization that you were never actually held the way you held others. 🪞

That quote?
It stung because it was true. 💔

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The Pour-Back Principle

But these days, I’m pouring into the people who pour back.
The ones who call. Who show up. Who stay.

And if you’re reading this thinking,
“Damn, that used to be me too…”
Just know—you’re not alone. 🌙✨

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Some friendships die without funerals.
This one has haunted me for years—the kind of absence that rattles the bones of who I used to be.
So I wrote them a song, hoping maybe the ghosts would finally rest.

Lyrics written by me, plugged into Soniva Music, and protected under copyright. Please do not copy, reproduce, or distribute without permission. 🎶🖤