Evanescence: The Band That Raised My Inner Emo
š The Beginning: When the EvTrain Rolled Into My Universe
My initiation into Evanescence wasnāt graceful or sacredājust my neighbor shoving āBring Me to Lifeā at me like it was contraband. (Jamie still swears she was the one who did it, and honestly? They can arm-wrestle about it in the shadow realm.)
I loved it instantly, so my mom bought what we thought was the album that my neighbor brought over. Plot twist: Anywhere But Homeā¦a live album.
Little me sat there confused, wondering why everyone sounded like they were screaming into the void (relatable). Naturally, we grabbed Fallen next, and Timāwho has always been more tech-minded than the rest of usāwent full pirate and burned CDs of the full Evanescence discography, demos included.
That was it.
The metamorphosis began.
I was feral-level obsessed.
For context, Evanescence had exploded in 2003 with Fallen, a gothic-rock-meets-symphony masterpiece powered by Amy Leeās classically trained, witch-of-the-opera voice. Fun fact: The label forced them to add a rapper to āBring Me to Life,ā even though the band didnāt want one. Amy compromised for that single song and never again.
š The Anywhere But Home Era (Where My Emo Heart Was Born)
I memorized every songāfrom the early garage-demos to the self-titled album.
The Anywhere But Home DVD practically lived in our player. Honestly, it felt like scripture.
A few people throughout my life have told me I remind them of Amy Lee.
I donāt see itāIām not a cathedral-trained banshee queen.
But Iāll take the compliment and hide it in my ribcage for safekeeping.
I even drew a portrait of her because in the DVD, sheās shown gathering fan art from people.
And yes, I still have that drawing.
And no, I will never show it to another living soul.
It looks like it crawled out of the Upside Down. š
š¬ Fan Videos, Cringe Lore, and the Birth of a Creative Witch
I once stumbled upon a fan-made āMy Tourniquetā video on YouTube back when YouTube looked like a haunted GeoCities page.
It inspired me to write out full cinematic concepts for a ton of Evanescence songs, including an extremely dramatic, extremely teenage storyboard for āSnow White Queen.ā
We tried filming āSnow White Queenā in the evening, because of course I needed mood lighting for my magnum opus.
Then I saw myself on camera, shriveled like a salted slug, and abandoned the project immediately.
Creative witchcraft has its limits.
š¤ My First Concert Ever: 2006, The State Theater (Now The Fillmore)
My mother ushered me into the cult of live music by taking me to see Evanescence in 2006, when they were touring with Revelation Theory for The Open Door Tour.
It was me, my mom, Jamie, and a co-worker of mine who had actual concert experience.
Everything else?
Pure chaos:
- We parked in the sketchiest lot imaginable because we were Detroit babies then.
- A man insisted he park our car for us (never again).
- I was in a full text war with a friend in line.
- She deleted her side of the messages, showed her mom mine, and her mom called to scream at me mid-line.
- My mother promptly ascended into feral goddess mode.
The show itself?
We were in the balcony with a flip phone camera, someone threw a beer at us, and it was still perfect.
š¤ Family Values, Border Crossings, and a Dozen Other Shows
I saw them again at the Family Values Tour with Korn the next year.
And probably another dozen shows since thenāEvanescence always seemed to appear at the right time in my life like a gothic Hogwarts letter.
My ex-husband and I even crossed into Windsor for their Synthesis Tour, our first and only trip to Canada. Synthesis was Evanescenceās orchestral rebirth eraāold songs reimagined with full symphony arrangements, electronic layers, and Amy Lee doing what she was born to do: stand in front of an orchestra like the ghost queen of a Victorian sĆ©ance.
The concert? Incredible.
The marriage? Not so much.
šļø VIP Dreams in a Pandemic World
In 2021, I finally treated myself to VIP passes for their show with Halestorm at Little Caesars Arena.
But thanks to pandemic-era reality, it turned into a socially distanced Q&A instead of a meet-and-greet.
Still magicalājust less āhug Amy Leeā and more āwave politely from afar.ā
ā” Bitch Fest ā My Birthday Baptism
My favorite Evanescence moment of all time?
āBitch Fest,ā as named by Lzzy Hale herself.
My birthday, 2024.
Soaring Eagle Casino.
The lineup was basically my own personal coven of rock goddesses:
- Evanescence
- Halestorm
- In This Moment
Three high-priestesses of chaos on one stage.
It felt like a ritualāloud, healing, and a little unhinged in the best way.
š¤ Evanescence Today: Motherhood, Memory, and Music
Evanescence is still in my Top 5, but Halestorm has dethroned them for #1.
Stillā¦Evanescence shaped me. They soundtracked my middle school angst, my teenage spirals, my heartbreaks, my early creative years, and even nowāmy motherhood.
I still show up at their Michigan concerts, fully alive during the classics and sipping my drink like a sleepy witch during the new stuff.
Itās not a preference thingāI just have kids, and unless Amy releases another kids album, my listening hours areā¦limited. Amy actually put out a childrenās album in 2016 (Dream Too Much), and it was adorable. But until she releases a sequel, my mom-life soundtrack is 90% Disney, 9% Pink Fong, and 1% whatever I can sneak in while someone demands snacks.
But thereās a permanent room carved into my heart where Evanescence lives untouched.
Some bands influence you.
Some bands soothe you.
Evanescence practically mothered my emotional landscape.
āØ Final Notes
Evanescence didnāt just soundtrack my lifeāthey stitched pieces of me together.
Even now, decades later, Amy Leeās voice still finds the part of me that remembers who I was before life got loud in the wrong ways.
Some bands fade.
Evanescence lingers.
Haunts.
Heals.
A beautiful ghost Iāll never outgrow.
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