Disclaimer: This post isn’t necessarily about my own situation. Some stories are inspired by shared experiences, conversations, and the patterns too many of us recognize all too well.

The Child Support Conversation Nobody Wants to Have

Since I’m going through a divorce, my feed has suddenly been flooded with videos and think-pieces about child support—and I can’t help but wonder where the disconnect is.

When you’re married, you’re already contributing to your children’s needs. You help pay for food, clothes, medicine, activities—all the invisible costs that keep a household running. No one questions it then.

So why does that sense of responsibility suddenly shift after divorce? The only real difference is that instead of your share being spread across grocery bills and daycare receipts, it’s transferred directly to your ex. But it’s still for the same things as before.

You helped bring these kids into the world. Supporting them shouldn’t feel like a punishment—it’s simply the continuation of what you were already doing.

It’s the same bills, same mouths, same love…just a different mailbox.

Make it make sense.

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The Book of James (and Other Fairy Tales)

Recently, I commented on a video by parenting plan coach Samantha Boss. She was explaining something incredibly simple — that child support is court-ordered. It’s not optional. It doesn’t matter if you “don’t feel like paying it.”

Apparently, that was too much truth for a “man” named James.

No profile picture, no posts, no friends — just an empty account with a loud opinion. He decided to inform me that, quote, “Yeah, that’s the problem, hun. It goes to you and not them directly. He’ll be paying you and for them when he has them. You won’t use it all for them, you’re not fooling anyone. Maybe the broken courts.”

Oh, James. Bless your fragile little heart.

I informed him that my entire world revolves around my children—that I live, breathe, and break my back for them daily, while men like him sit online crying about “broken courts” because accountability feels unfair.

When he fired back with the ever-classy, “Now get me a beer, toots,” I had to laugh.

“Jesus,” I told him. “You can’t even commit to your own misogyny correctly. It’s ‘make me a sandwich,’ not ‘get me a beer, toots.’ Half the reason women left men like you is because you can’t even follow directions.”

Silence.

That silence? That’s what happens when logic meets ego.

Because the thing about men like James is that they don’t want a conversation — they want control. They want women to shut up, stay small, and smile while doing double the work with half the support.

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The Math Still Adds Up

Do not ever accuse me of not putting my kids first.

Everything I do—every choice, every sacrifice, every late night—is for Evie and Ellie. I’ve sold things that meant the world to me just to make sure they had what they needed. That’s what real parenting looks like.

And yes, I get it—some women blow the check on themselves. But if the kids are fed, clothed, and safe? You’re not funding her lifestyle. You’re just paying her back for fronting your half. 🙄

That’s not greed. That’s accountability.

This post isn’t about the outliers. It’s for the responsible parents — the ones navigating single parenthood with integrity, doing their best to keep things stable for their kids, and still getting labeled “greedy” for expecting the bare minimum.

Because when someone refuses to help support the life they helped create, yes—it’s infuriating. Not because of the money, but because of what it says: I can walk away, and you’ll just figure it out.

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For the Women Still Fighting

My heart is with every woman fighting this same fight — the ones who stretch themselves thin, carry the weight of two people, and still get called selfish for expecting basic support.

You are seen. You are valid. You are not “asking for too much.” You’re asking for what your kids deserve.

Because if the courts won’t validate your struggle, I will.

I’ll forever stand beside you…and make grown men cry about it. 🖤